Week 3 NFL Awards

The Jordan De Goey Award for the weeks most impressive performance

Four times in NFL history 70 or more points have been scored in a single game. FOUR. TIMES.

Not only that, the last time it happened was in 1966. The Dolphins didn’t just beat the Broncos. They destroyed them. Miami totaled 726 yards of offense. They became the first team in NFL history to have five rushing AND five receiving touchdowns in one game. Plus, they did it all without Jaylen Waddle, their second most important playmaker. Most of this dominance on offence can be credited to one man. He may not look like a football guy. He doesn’t speak like a football. He doesn’t act like a football guy. But Miami has struck gold with second-year head coach Mike McDaniel. His spread offence perfectly utilises the skillset of his players and hides his team’s biggest weakness, pass protection, with plays that develop so quickly that all Tua (the Dolphins QB) has to do is step back, anticipate, and throw on time and on target. It’s like Miami plays football twice as fast as everyone else. If I needed a TD drive to save my life, I wouldn’t hesitate to call Mike McDaniel and the Dolphins.

Collingwood prelim final victory against the Giants was impressive, but after Miami’s 70-20 win, it’s time to rename this award to the Miami Dolphins award for the most impressive victory.

“The Rise Of Skywalker” Award for the week's biggest disappointment

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. So when I sat down to watch the final movie in the new trilogy, my expectations were at an all-time high. The first two sequels were bad but I believed in the Star Wars brand. Disney would turn it around, just like George Lucas had done in 2005 when “Revenge Of The Sith” was released. I entered the cinema, filled with anticipation.

“The Rise Of Skywalker” left me more disappointed than I could have imagined. It was a disaster. Disney wasted the golden opportunity to create a sequel trilogy that fans could enjoy. Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars have done something similar.

Expectations of the Jags were at an all-time high after they made a remarkable playoff comeback against the Chargers in the playoffs and took the Chiefs to their absolute limits one week later. Lawrence was a favourite to win MVP. Fans expected the Jaguars to dominate anyone standing in their way. Lawrence has done the exact opposite. The Jags lost 31-17 to the lowly Texans, who were missing eight starters. Lawrence looked uncomfortable in the pocket, unable to extend plays or help his receivers. Something an MVP-type QB must be able to do. The Jags now play two straight games in London, which could very well decide the fate of their season.

The Nathaniel Hackett Award for the week’s most fireable coach

The Broncos had a top-5 defence last season. George Payton, the Broncos GM, emphasised keeping that same group together to maximise his championship window with Russell Wilson and Sean Payton. Only one thing changed: the defensive coordinator. Vance Joseph was poached from the Cardinal's defensive staff to lead a loaded unit into the 2023 season. Now, through the last seven quarters of action, the Broncos have given up 102 points. Including 70 to the Dolphins in week 3. Joseph and his defence has been abysmal. Post-game Sean Payton said he was “at a loss for words.” If the Broncos' defence doesn’t lift their game in the coming weeks, Joseph might end up the same as former head coach Nathaniel Hackett. At a loss of a job before the season even ends.

The “Step Brothers” Award for the funniest game of the week

“Stepbrothers” is the funniest movie ever created. Vikings vs. Chargers was equally as amusing.

Here’s a quick recap of the final few minutes:

First, the Chargers inexplicably go for it on 4th and inches from within the Vikings 25-yard line instead of punting. They run a horrible dive play that gets stuffed, turning the ball over on downs, practically guaranteeing the Vikings a TD. Then, Minnesota completed a short pass to the seven-yard line. However, for whatever reason, Kirk Cousins doesn’t spike the ball, which keeps the clock running. Forcing the Vikings to quickly scream out a play call, rush to the line and snap the ball. Instead of being calm and collected like he usually is, Cousins throws a pass right between two defenders. The ball bounces off a few hands and eventually into the Charger's hands. The Vikings lose.

Like Dale Dobback would say, “You were (Chargers) dead. I saw you die”.

The Michael Scott “It’s Over” Award for the team that should give up

“It’s over… we are screwed” – Matt Eberflus

The Bears lost 41-10. They were scoreless at halftime. Fields completed 40% of his passes in the first half. He then got concussed. Not a great day to be a Bears fan. It’s only week three, but the Bears front office needs to start scouting who they will take with a top-3 pick. This is going to be a long and torturous season in Chicago.

The Zach Wilson Award for the NFL quarterback who shouldn’t be an NFL quarterback

I’m unsure if this is allowed, but I’m giving Zach Wilson an award already named after him.

Let’s describe Wilson in one word: uninspiring. He is petrified to make mistakes, averaging just 4.7 air yards an attempt (Matt Ryan had the lowest air yardage average last season with 6 yards per attempt). He can’t anticipate when a receiver will be open on a deep shot and isn’t smart enough to dissect defences with short passes. The Jets don’t trust him, fans groan when he steps back to pass, and a season Jets fans had been dreaming of for decades has turned into a nightmare.

The Dan Marino Award for the week’s best rookie performance

When asked about CJ Stroud, Texans tight end Brevin Johnson had this to say: “We drafted the right guy. Man, he’s a leader. He’s a phenomenal player and a phenomenal guy with God-given talent. Dude, he’s unbelievable.” Johnson is right. Stroud is only the 3rd QB in NFL history to exceed 900 passing yards over his first three career starts, behind only Cam Newton (1,012) and Justin Herbert (931). That’s elite company. His performance against the Jaguars (20/30, 280 yards, 2TDs) led his team to one of the most significant upset victories of the season. Stroud has that “it” factor every great QB needs. If the Texans can put the right pieces around him, a playoff run might not be in the not-so-distant future.

The Neil McAuley Award for the player I shouldn't be rooting for, but I am anyway

I’m a Broncos fan. I’m meant to hate the Chiefs. I’m meant to hate Patrick Mahomes. And just like when I watch Michael Mann’s “Heat”, I find myself rooting for the villain. Both Neil McCauley and Mahomes make the people around them better. They both excel in high-pressure situations and have an instinct for winning that none of their contemporaries can match. You can’t deny greatness. And unfortunately for anyone that doesn’t support the Chiefs, Mahomes is undeniable.